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Gary Schwartz's Facebook profile

1.16.2006

3 topics to discuss...

1) you know you're getting old when the first thing you do when you get home from a long day of work/contact with the general public is head upstairs and put your stylin' new slippers on:

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sad but true, time and time again the best part of my day is finally getting home and sliding my feet into my lovely new slippers that j.mo got me for christmas.

mere days and i'll be 28 (shut up, lys ;). next stop thirty. before you know it i'll be 'getting' a yearly colonoscopy. now there's reason alone to head for the hills. or rarotonga.

2) a few months ago we added a snail to our happy goldfish family. while i'm the slackass father that never took a photo of dear junior, hamburgerhelper (yes, that was his name) resembled something like this:

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he was a good little snail. we laughed. we cried. we sucked on algae covered pebbles together (hey, us vegans gotta get our b12 from somewhere)

well for a few days now he's been floating on the surface of the fishtank. eyeswideshut. just bobbing along- following the current and getting nibbled at by the other residents.

today, this is his new address. may he rest in peace:

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3) so i happened to mention a little incident involving a sparrow and chicken remnants the other day. now everywhere i go i see chicken bones on the sidewalks, in the street, on the T- anywhere other than in the trash bin. tomorrow i'll get to work and there will be domestic fowl carcass on my desk, i'm convinced. it's like a whole army of fried chickens took to the sky, got sucked into a jet engine and have been raining down on various boston zipcodes ever since. so watch where you're walking.

4 comments:

john said...

that picture of the trash can is the best... ;)

mag said...

damn, you have the cleanest trashcan! I also love my slippers....and i'm hittin 30 this year, so you are still a youngin'

shel said...

i was actually squinting trying to find the carcass in the trash, to no avail. why didnt you flush that puppy down the toilet?

g said...

i dunno the answer to that one- j.mo was in charge of snail disposals yesterday... :)