Gary Schwartz's Facebook profile


it's a big fat gay easter

i'm not quite sure why it has taken me 30 years to notice just how gay the whole easter thing is...

first the opening ceremony- a mandatory glitterspray from chocopridebunny:

precious pastel-dyed eggs:

shiny foil wrapped eggs:

an edible egg orgy:

minilesbians, hunting and gathering:

baskets full of supergreen plastic easter grass:

armies of tiny cross-eyed peeps, straight from the i-just-swallowed-a-glowstick-rave:

creepy bunnies:

creepier republican bunnies:

big-haired lady rabbits:

a never before seen pic from the bunnyfarm, where unemployed bunnies pass the long months of the uneaster season:

and perhaps the biggest sign of easter's bleechblondstonewallroots- the sacred ceremonial easter ham, all glazed up in a chemical pink glory and topped with rings of fruitynutritious pineapple, plucked from the very hat of carmen miranda:

have yourselves a merry little gay easter ;)


and now a public service announcement...

10 years ago if someone had told me that by the time i was 30 i would be having chunks of myself cut away because of too much time in the sun i would have laughed and said 'yeah right.' that only happens to the tanning bed peeps and the florida nanas with leather handbag complexions. when i lived in australia i was *always* in the sun- yardwork, reading, lunch, napping, jogging- toujours au soleil, rarely with spf on... ah the myth of a 'healthy tan.' if you're white, you're not supposed to turn brown- it's just not in our dna.

sadly, i'm starting to feel like a 30 year old block of swiss cheese. on friday i had two more suspicious spots (and their surrounds) removed, leaving me with 17 stitches and a whole lot of uncomfortable.

i've certainly gotten better about being out in the sun- given my own situation and what my mum went through two summers ago with merkel cell carcinoma, i got it, loud and clear- the sun is nothing to mess around with. now a hat goes on if i'm going to be out in the sun for a while, as well as a slathering of SPF and an incessant badgering of anyone around me to make sure they are also adequately protected.

luckily, of the 6 biopsies and 3 excisions i've had, so far everything has been either completely benign or caught so early it didn't have time to develop into anything more serious. and for anyone who is still not convinced they need to cover up/hose down in SPF pre-sun, a pic from friday:


if that's still not enough for you, these few pics should definitely do it. honestly, though, don't click here unless you're ok with pretty gross stuff. i hesitated to put these pics online (hence a link instead of just posting them) because they even gross me out. but j.mo made a good point- it would be silly to go through this and not share the experience with everyone around me just in case anyone needs convincing of what can happen from too much time in the sun.

hamptonio tortuga

a certain favorite seasonal resident decided it was time to un-hiberbate himself and dug his way out of his wintersleepsession and was eagerly awaiting an airlift out of j.mo's mum's basement yesterday when we checked on him:


welcome home, hampton. oh how i missed the sound of salad munching in the corner :)



a few signs it's time for a new job:

yes folks, these things actually do hang from the ceiling above my head, hand-tied and painstakingly hung by our favorite central american facilities specialist, no doubt...

one example

i might be able to focus if it weren't for the dustbunnycoatedsuspendedoverheaddistraction every 4 feet

and one of my favorite

followed in shortstep with

'drink your koolaid'


'tom cruise is my baby daddy'