Gary Schwartz's Facebook profile


catching and upping

hello internets- i must say, i did miss you :)

j.mo and i decided to take yesterday off together to a) sleep in and b) finish priming the once wallpapered and crumbling water-stained living room walls so we can get to painting before the turkeyeaters descend upon our humble home next week. while i've got quite the soft spot for crackden living rooms (afterall who can argue with form *and* function?), it's a bit much to take in when it's the very first thing you see when you enter the house... but fear not, it's mostly under control now- 2 coats of paint this upcoming weekend and we'll be good to go.

so that's where i was yesterday.

on with bidness.

naturally i had to have stahbies this morning- being that it was only my second day of work this week. last week my usual starbucks ran out of soymilk half way through frothing my venti latte. so i got a half full coffee (what was i supposed to do?? let them dump it out and continue on my way to work sans caffeine??) and a coupon for a free drink next time.

well today was next time. and they were out of soymilk.


breathe in breathe fucking out. ok, whatever- plan b... off we go to the stahbies at emerson, a few blocks past where i work. it didn't take long to figure out why the line formed a semi-circle against the wall near all the babyjesusbdayjunk instead of the standard single-file line stretching back toward the door. all of my fellow coffeeschleps were fearing for their lives- and for good reaosn.

there was a pint-sized shebeast dressed in pink velvet pants and a red velour jacket with snot all over her face absolutely terrorizing the place. when i opened the door she had 1lb of sumatran roast in one hand and a candy cane travel mug in the other- both were airborne in seconds.

i love kids- don't get me wrong. i cannot wait to be a dad. but the sight of this earlymorninghellraiser, face covered in snot and all angry and abusive- yeah... i'll pass, thanks.

and this creature's keeper? completely oblivious. even the man with the huge hickey (truly a timeless look) kept glaring over at her like 'don't you have a stun gun or something??'

here they are fleeing the scene- sorry i couldn't get a better shot, but i really didn't want to get caught in the crossfire:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

all this for coffee. there have to be better morning habits to indulge in- i shall investigate.

so now it's after 10am and i have to log on to my online ciminal psychology course (which i hate) to take an exam for which i'm barely prepared. the bulk of the exam is on the oj simpson case and we were supposed to have read a 450 page book about the case before attempting the exam. i still have 130 pages to go- needless to say, we're taking the exam anyways.

for news on this and other developing stories, tune in at 11.


alyssa j said...

oh garold -- wait until it's your turn to drag a snot nosed (or two) kid around. if anyone in the city needed a coffee, don't you think it was that mom? gone are the days when i give a fuck anymore. :-)

g said...

actually i think the double espresso may have been for the kid. ;)

froggie said...

i always think it's funny when other people's kids have extremely loud public melt downs... it always makes me grateful....for at least at that moment... it's not my kid!

froggie said...

.......of course there is always that rare occasion that it is my kid and i'm always so shocked i never know if i want to kill him or just ignore him