Gary Schwartz's Facebook profile


mind cho bidness

so despite the sore throat and the work craziness that was 4 people with mexican passports stranded in vienna since they didn't realise they needed visas to go to albania (if you're mexican and are going to albania you might want to check that whole visa thing *before* you get on a plane for tirana), all day long i was looking forward to coming home and taking one very excited puppy named franklin for nice long walk... luckily the rain let up and it was happystrollin' for everyone.

at the end of our walk we returned home to find our patch of mostly dead front yard overrun with all the neighborhood kids. most of them are ok enough- but there are two in particular that should have been flushed long ago when they were still of flushable dimensions. we debated planting a couple of land mines in the front yard over the summer. but while undeniably effective, we were a little concerned about property resale value post-detonation. so we passed on the land mines.

so yeah- kids. everywhere. there's one girl- about 8 years old, scraggly red hair, and incessanlty screaming as if she's been hog-tied to the roof of a minivan and driven through an automatic carwash. she's the same girl that most intelligently decided to try and climb the chainlink fence between our house and the neighbors this summer and ended up getting her denim shorts stuck on the fence straddling the top if it. i remember being at the dining room table that day doing schoolwork and hearing a whimpering sound. and there she was, stuck on the fence, using her treestump mental prowess to try and figure out a way out to detach her crotch from our fence. priceless was our neighbor, who hearing the same whimpering, stuck her head out the window and said 'mira chica, you better get off that fence before you hurt your punta...'

anyways- she was there today screaming away. along with the obnoxious shithead little boy that insists of being a hyper-moron every chance he gets. like last week when he turned on the queeny gay voice and told me he liked my 'pretty shoes.'

while some of the kids were petting franklin and asking questions like 'how old is he?' 'what kind of dog is he?' etc... that little dick asks me 'so do you live here?' yes i do. 'do you live alone?' no. 'do you have a roommate?' no. 'do you have a girlfriend?' NO. I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. I HAVE A HUSBAND. he sure did clear out mighty quick.

:)(: happy friday. go sox!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aw, here I go searching for other bloggers in my area, and what do I find? They're also being driven crazy by the neighborkids.

The ones on my street used to try and steal my tip jar EVERY DAMN DAY.