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Gary Schwartz's Facebook profile

12.12.2005

my god the 80's were fugly...

yesterday j.mo and i found ourselves dodging toycrazed parents and daylight-deprived toys'r'us employees looking for gifts for the lovelyladies of south carolina...

if this doesn't scream 1983 i don't know what does:
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i'm confused by a couple of things- why is this still for sale? do little kids really watch rainbow brite anymore? the package says this one is 'red butler' and *his* cyndilauperfurbysidekick is called 'romeo.' that's right- i said 'his sidekick.' does red butler really look like a guy to you? every website i checked confirms he's supposed to be a he.

now i'm wondering how i would have turned out if i hadn't spent saturday's watching rainbow brite's he/she glitterfest with my sister. all those rainbows and sparkles- it's no wonder.

i mean- look at the cast...

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the pinkringleader and her puffballpridesidekick

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butchbrite the local lesbian clover farmer

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butchbrite's femmegirliegirl

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buddyblue (aka a young richard simmons) and his blueballboytoy

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this one we met earlier- our red butler with a penchant for showtunes (kinda reminds me of my first college roommate)

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partybrite and her magic party favors- now we know who the drug pusher was and where all the rainbows come from

and last but not least-
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and
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the rainbowville hoochie sista's

and i thought the teletubbies were oddballs- this crowd could eat the teletubbies for breakfast.

4 comments:

john said...

"butchbrite the local lesbian clover farmer"

i peed my pants laughing over that one line alone...

chix said...

i like the ethnicly nonspecific "party brite." you know, so kids everywhere can identify with her. personally, i identify with hoochie sista #2 as we both wear glasses. she's kind of chubby, though. no wonder i have body issues.

g said...

i think there's a little rainbow brite cast member in all of us...

this could be turned into a thesis...

froggie said...

i have never been so happy .... this is my favorite thing today! rainbow brite rocks! i can still sing her theme song....