1st stop, houston

i'm leaving in a few hours for the airport- the only part of the trip i'm nervous about is taking the silver line through the tunnel to the airport. i think i may ride in my portable sharkcage for added structural integrity:


i've never been to merida before, but it looks lovely-


hopefully i can keep my bluestateways undercover and pass through houston undetected- lys, i'll be sure to take an appropriate photo or two of your former homeland for sentimental reasons.

so that's about it- time to go finish packing. hope everyone has a good week and i'll catch up with you on friday.

-g

this is a test of the emergency broadcast network

and i wonder why i haven't slept the past few nights:

j.mo: slightly stressed and a little anxious over the work situation. trickles down to me feeling crap for not being able to fix it for him.

dad: passed out again last week, whisked away by ambulance. two days in the hospital and sent home- this time put on leave from work until someone figures out what is wrong with him.

grandma: in the hospital with pneumonia.

mom: 4 rounds of chemo down, 2 to go. collapses in the parking garage of the hospital while going to see grandma. 2 days in the hospital and 3 blood transfusions later she may be coming home soon.

have i mentioned how glad i am i didn't take summer classes?

when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
'cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
and when i look up
i just trip over things
-ani

my big backyard

so as you're all beginning to know well that there's a little bit of everything and everyone in our small corner of dorchester. many languages, a pu-pu platter of parking skills, stray cats, skunks and kids, someone practicing on their trumpet, firecrackers, spanish nanas, and on and on. i'm starting to wonder if maybe instead of a semester at sea we could offer a semester in dot- unparalleled exposure and real-life experiences without the $10,000 tuition or the seasickness.

but one thing in the neighborhood i've yet to understand is in our backyard. well, to be more exact, it's not really in our backyard-- it's the yard that abuts our back yard:

huh?

here- take a closer look:


pipes, 2x4's, bricks, a tarp or two... and voila- there you have IT. but what is IT? is IT some sort of quasi-complete gardening set up? an unfinished extension of the house? someone who never quite got over the fact they never made a sequel to this film?


??

paint fumes

oh dear- the travelocity gnome just flew by on his balloon-propelled lawnchair to let my office know that the paintfumes have reached dangerous levels:

the other half of our floor has been undergoing renovations for a couple of weeks now. first up was a week of new carpet aromatherapy. our office canary didn't make it through that one. and now we've moved on to eau d'paint. there's also the non-stop 'hum' of powertools, hammering, and aerosmith to keep the workday moving on along. and getting on/off the elevator has become something of an obstacle course a la sarajevo with random pieces of wood, tangles of wires and stray light fixtures everywhere. if j.mo worked here he would have been injured long ago. oh, and let's not forget the intermittent plumbing interruptions... nothing brings co-workers closer together than passing a bedpan around.

so i'm going to blame my inability to blog for the past 10 days on all of this workplace upheavel. don't these construction guys know we're trying to browse the internet across the hall??

there's also been the whole lack-o-sleep issue. could it be our concrete-filled mattress that leads to all of the tossing and turning? after 5 years on the thing you would think we would have managed to break it in by now. or perhaps it's a little stress over the infinitelycrap family situation? every morning i wake up with a stiff neck and feeling rather grumpy. that was especially true this morning because above and beyond spending the evening on a bed of nails, j.mo was awakened from his slumbah at 2am by the sound of a dying smoke detector chirping away every minute or two for a new battery:

j: 'g- wake up... do you hear that?'
g: (rubbing eyes, looking at clock, wondering why j.mo is not in bed) hear what?
j: that beeping noise- i think it's the carbon monoxide detector.
g: (getting out of bed, i'm already feeling dead so what's the big deal if we're breathing in 100% carbon monoxide?) ok, i'm up.

we're both now standing in the spare room in our underwear, blinking up at the ceiling

j: see? and it's blinking red too. where did you put the instructions?
g: i have no idea where the instructions are. (meanwhile we're not dying and the beeping noise happens again and now i'm sure it's *not* coming from the spare room. not to mention the fact that the heating unit hasn't been on in weeks... so there's more carbon monoxide coming from the goldfish than there is from heating unit. it's 2am- you want to read the instruction manual?)

we both spent the next 10 mins circling around the house and couldn't figure out where the noise was coming from. fine- whatever, back to bed. except now not only is j.mo being kept awake by the beep, but so am i. finally we stuck our heads out the window and discovered that it's coming from the neighbor's house. and despite the fact that we can reach out the window and touch their siding, there really isn't much we can do about their dying smoke detector at 2am.

things went downhill from there-now i had been awake long enough to get hungry. and the windows are closed, and the temperature is a balmy 94 degrees. 3.36am... 4.14am... 6.40am and alarm #1. 7am and alarm #2.

feeling fresh today. upwards and onwards.

so now we have bigboy cable and are no longer limited to PBS, wifeswap, NECN news and random on-demand tidbits. why we did it to ourselves for so long was beyond me. yeah, we have netflix and all 5 seasons of six feet under and not a ton of time for tv anyways, but it's so lovely to turn on the tv and scroll through nothing but listings for a good 10mins before settling on anything.

my new personal favorite is the midget channel. seriously, TLC must have been hijacked by broadcast savvy primordial dwarves armed with cameras and 18inch hems. it seems like everytime we flip past we get sucked into a tiny vortex of little people sitting around a table at the outback steakhouse as they discuss their jobs as software designers or their latest helicopter ride (truth be told, i'm a tad bit jealous that my full-size life is not half as exciting as theirs) seriously- check it out. it's actually amazing to watch. and i was absolutely furious last night when the dad & mom were at the hospital with their sick son and mentioned they would have to pay for everything out of pocket- no one will provide health insurance to little people. how wrong is that? how american is that?

ok, so i started this post talking about the travelocity gnome and finished talking about TLC's 'as the midgets turn.' clearly i've come full circle and should go now.

sorry i left you all by your lonesomes for so long. and sorry this post was so long. hope you're all having a good week and stay tuned for impending travelshananagans- i'm off to merida, mexico on monday for work. and then costa rica at the end of august.

while folding laundry this morning...

i nearly died watching this on comedy central- the best are the two pimps... 'we gonna hook you up with this hotstuff makeup kit from rite aid'

tv tea

rustlight settles
between the days
and eases up from below
i'm double-hinged on greengrass strong
and walking home
these softshore bends
hold knowing
the long-tossed written letter
brings an unsure tidal wave
braced and bobbing
upright
while moths spin miles
through me again
moving over rainwet glances
and circling above our orange grove lanternfaces
they eye my spraypaint future hands
shake the sand asleep
and rattle this shortened stay
rustlight filters in
and eases up
with tv tea leaves floating
resting over folded hands
resting over folded plans

my 4th

j.mo and i enjoyed a lovely day off together with next to nothing to do yesterday... it's pretty rare that we don't pack all sorts of things or projects into our time off- painting, yardwork, parental care, blah blah blah. it was the first time in years i can say i got up *just in time* to watch the price is right. besides the fact that barker has a cord running from his left leg to a car battery (seen just off stage when the camera pans out over the audience) it's pretty much business as usual for bob and the beauties from 11am-noon. although we did note that the quality of the prizes seems to gave gone a tad downhill- i mean really, an old fashioned nacho warmer??



after a trip to hyde park we were back home just in time for our 4th of july festivities- central AC, 10 lbs of leftover vegan stuffed shells and a movie. nothing says red, white and blue american patriotism quite like an awesome film about a thai s/he kickboxer and faux dairy stuffed pasta...

first tortoise in space

thankfully the shuttle launch keeps getting pushed back, giving hampton that little extra time he needs to get from boston to florida...

a decade of travelin'

it's almost a little sad- my passport is about to expire so it's time for a new one. i had to hit up cvs for photos on my way to work and am filling out my application today to have in renewed. after 10 years together i'm feeling rather attached, even if it does have a rather large thanksgiving turkey (read: ever vigilant terrorist-eating eagle) on the cover. i'm sure this all sounds silly, c'mon... nostalgically misty-eyed over a passport? but we've been a lot of places together:

10 years
41 stamps (14 of which are from trips to australia :)
2 visas
14 countries

it's been an awesome decade of people and places and sinking cattle barges in the middle of guatemalan waterways... i wonder which fine country will be the first to ink my new passport's virgin pages?- a cycling trip in laos and a tanzanian adventure to hike up kilimanjaro are on the horizon... up, up and away :)

enough already!

first the border crap smoke and mirrors routine...

then a whose-dick-is-bigger republicanorgy over a go-nowhere gay marriage amendment. another lovely song and dance distraction.

and how about a flag burning amendment? the die hard conservatives should *love* an attempt at limiting free speech.

well, guess that didn't work either.

at least there's still hope the pimp tax will pass.

i've said it before, i'll say it again... what a mess.

my big fat gay wedding

thanks so much to the butter queen for all of the photos... :)

curbside 007, hanoi style

so we live in the kind of place where trash night is sort of an unspoken event of rare neighborhood togetherness. everyone hauls all of their garbage, recycling, dead shrubs and mattresses to the curb and instead of immediately retreating indoors for pulse-or-no-pulse TV or dinner microwaving… or drug dealing if you happen to live one house down from us- people just sort of linger. most of the lingerers are mere onlookers, enjoying the fetid ambiance wafting up from the haphazard mounds of summertimerefuse. but many of the neighborhood’s cast and crew busily get to work:

the perpetually drunk woman from the end of street is the first to start making the rounds, although she doesn’t really do anything- just walks up and down the street. and up and down the street. the crazy irish family across the street all come out on the porch, the mother yells at the 11 year old daughter who’s pushing the 8 year old daughter around (they all look creepily alike) on a way too small baby stroller that lives in the bushes in front of their house when not in use. (everyone should keep a tattered and moldy baby stroller in their bushes, gives the place that nice 'a molester lived here' feel) the irish grandpa is only out in public at this late hour because he’s terrified at the thought of the radio controlled mini-hummer piloted by a couple of the neighborhood kids accidentally bumping into his olde-rose-of-dublin-hyundai-wagon. the rest of the kids are busy playing in a home depot shopping cart. there are at least 5 kids sitting inside of it and two little asian guys pushing it around, everyone screaming as they have a brush with the ER when it careens toward the curb.

the vietnamese guy across from us comes out with rubber gloves on (he’s all business) and makes his way from house to house as he fishes around for urbantreasure. and then there are the battalions of can&bottle collectors. usually the first ones out are an older vietnamese couple- i haven’t figured out where they live yet, but they’re definitely on the earlybirdsenior schedule (with free coffee refills). but last night there was a new crew-two women (maybe sisters) and their kids. when they got to our place there was quite the commotion. last night was my first chance to haul all of the empties off the back deck from sunday’s secretgayweddinghoedown- and let me tell you, there were a ton of empty bottles. so when they arrived and started to fill their plastic bags they quickly realized they had stumbled upon the 5-cent deposit motherload and this was no time for shopping bags. Plan B- it was all very james bond- one quick unzip of the faux gucci handbag and out came the cell phone. within 2 mins a gold camry pulled up and the reinforcements had arrived. while everyone within earshot leaned over their porches and watched, the trunk was filled to overflowing. then the backseat- and off they went.

for next thursday night’s trashfestblockparty i’m thinking we should have some people over and make a true night of it.

i-heart-dorchester :)(:

don't panic (aka it's good to be in love)

if you woke up and found foul smelling day old sangria in your kitchen... and scattered champagne flutes on window sills... and beer bottles just about any and everywhere, inlcluding the shower and front lawn- no need to panic. at least i didn't on monday morning when i awoke to pretty much that scene (ok, i exaggerate re: the lawn, but the sangria cesspool is no lie). it was probably just a gay wedding that blew through the neighborhood. and as the pinktingedhangoverfog begins to burn off, you too will clearly remember licking frosting off the two miniature grooms that were on the cake :)



what a weekend! needless to say, sunday's surprise (to most) wedding was a blast. a big thanks to all of our family and friends for helping make the day everything it was. and another big thanks to the state of massachusetts for understanding that a family is a family is a family. as soon as we get all of the pics from the butter queen, j.mo and i will go to town posting away. until then, all i have to offer up are some plastic groom cake toppers and some triple fermented sangria... it sure is good to be in love- bottoms up :P

clickity-clickity

last night j.mo and i were riding the redline home when we happened to notice that all-too-unmistakable sound of someone clipping their nails? yup, clipping their nails on public transport:



i suppose it could have been worse- they could have been cutting their toenails. eeeeeeewwwww. c'mon people. i'm all for dedicated adherence to a thorough personal hygiene routine, but clipping your nails on the T? although now that i think about it- imagine what a time saver it will be when i brush my teeth on the train tomorrow am.

the great border debacle of 2006

billions of extra $, thousands of troops, and a new and improved fence-o-matic were simply not enough.

from cnn.com:
Web cams could monitor U.S.-Mexican border

EL PASO, Texas (AP) -- The governor of Texas wants to turn all the world into a virtual posse.
Rick Perry has announced a $5 million plan to install hundreds of night-vision cameras on private land along the Mexican border and put the live video on the Internet, so that anyone with a computer who spots illegal immigrants trying to slip across can report it on a toll-free hot line.


i wonder what the web address will be? a few suggestions...

www.spot-the-mexicans.com
www.holeinthefence.com
www.redneckborderpatrol.com
www.where-on-the-border-is-carmen-sandiego.com

with one slip of your travel agent's pudgy finger...

you could be landing in Kansas City (MCI) instead of Orlando (MCO). people who travel often, along with those of us 'privileged' enuogh to work in the travel industry all know that every airport gets a three letter code- the whole travelworld runs on this jibberjabber code language, with airport codes being just the beginning. some of them are completely logical and straightforward- boston is BOS. but then there are dozens of others that seem to have no sensible origin- Toronto is YYZ.

yesterday i ran across this article... same kind of idea- manchester, new hampshire (MHT) or manchester, UK (MAN)? this poor guy learned the hard way when he boarded a 50 seat minijet for what should have been a 6 hour trek across the atlantic- an hour later he landed in the granite state and found himself buying a 'live free or die' t-shirt and milking cows with our quirky neighbors to the north.

of course, this all made me think back to the time the butter queen and i worked together at STA... she had a customer that wanted to go to daytona beach, florida (DAB) and got him all set up for a lovely trip to dayton, ohio (DAY) instead. just another adventure in travelgonewrong.

happy friday :)

dead puppies

from boston.com to you...

Woman attacks dog breeder with Chihuahua
June 8, 2006
ST. PETERS, Mo. --A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.

my god this man is a pain in the ass

i have never been so sure i could deal with scandinavian winters.



from cnn.com:

Bush to promote gay marriage amendment

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush will promote a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage on Monday, the eve of a scheduled Senate vote on the cause that is dear to his conservative backers.




ugh.

shots rang out...

apparently capitol hill is under lockdown at the moment- gunfire may have been heard a little while ago...


anyone know where our sharpshootin' vice pres is? that would be the first office i'd be checking...

it's ok though- Sergeant Pickle is on it:
'Senate Sergeant at Arms Bill Pickle told Reuters there were no reports of any arrests or injuries. '

Now we're just awaiting the all clear from General Gherkin.

thirsty

it's too early to be fucking with my day, people...



the friggin' cleaning people threw out my water bottle. don't they know our mortgage only allows for two new water bottles a month? june is still a week away.

i'm either gonna have to rob my office's uglyass yoda-soda fund:



or i'm going to have to settle for dixiecup H2O shooters all day.

maybe i'll just skip the usual 3 litres of water a day routine and replace every single drop of it with coffee. j.mo- prepare the sedetives for my arrival this evening :)